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Saturday, August 9, 2008

The Power of Positive Thinking

Recently I saw a bubble gum machine full of little monkeys. So cute! I had to have one but guess who I got: A mocking monkey with a bad attitude. The truth is sometimes I feel just like how he looks. Even though he's kind of cute? Negativity is such a downer. I try really hard to always see the silver lining and focus on the positives.

As a bride you're bound to get frustrated. Possibly by anyone and everyone. From event professionals, to friends, family and even your fiance, people may get on your last nerve. So what's a bride to do? Well for starters I would say she should vent... Then quickly do whatever will bring the highest level of success in resolving the conflict. This could be confronting the person, accepting the situation as it is or mentally giving them a Mr. Monkey. But MOST IMPORTANTLY once you've dealt with it, you really need to move on. You've done all that you can. Don't dwell on it and harbor thoughts of negativity. They'll only cause more problems and suck the fun out of everything else you do.

Flirty Brides Don't Stay Mad

I should know. Even though I was a Flirty Bride? My own wedding was not without angst and drama. Disappointment, hurt feelings, many things occurred that had I allowed them to weigh on my mind? Could have ruined my wedding planning process and even my wedding day. But I refused to let that happen and simply moved on. When planning didn't go our way? We chose the next best option. We didn't dwell on "How we wanted things to be" or "What could have been" we just accepted the best solution available to us and didn't look back.

And guess what? We had a great wedding day. It was nothing but fun for both our guests and ourselves. No second thoughts. No regrets.

Here's some life advice that goes beyond weddings: Sometimes we may think it's ok to hang onto negativity because we think nobody will notice. But the truth is? Most often they do. Or we try to pass it off as humor. To some it might be funny, but others may see right through the facade. IMO venting and griping in general are separated by a very thin line. To me venting is what you do in the heat of the moment shortly after something that bothers you has happened. That's natural and a good way to get it out of your system so that you can move on. Griping and grudge holding, those are the two you have to watch out for. They're the ones that attract more negativity and may cause people to want to shy away from or avoid you.

It's been proven that if you think happy thoughts you'll be a happier person. So think positive! Dwelling on the negatives won't change anything. They'll just ruin your day.

If you have any tips or tricks for getting over wedding dramas or traumas by all means feel free to post them here!


  1. Gosh, this post can't come at a better time. I so need to send this to one of my September brides... well, that is if she is still going to be my bride after next Monday! Ahhh... too much drama, not good for the bride and definitely not good for the planner! =(

  2. Stacie - what great advice and every bride needs to read this. I often tell my brides when they are emotional about things to seriously ENJOY the wedding day and not to let the small insignificant things get to them. I know of a few brides who let the negativity ruin their day and they blamed it on every vendor they could, but essentially for the most part they all did their jobs, it was the bride and sometimes the groom who allowed themselves to fill up with so much negativity that they lost sight of the fact that they should have been focusing on the love they share and celebrate it.

    BTW, I love monkies (Aidan is a huge Curious George fan) I kept laughing out loud while reading your little graphics with the monkey and he laughed right along with me. LOL.

    Good luck Evonne... I so know what you're going through, my good friend who also is a coordinator often tells me these stories. I give coordinators kudos for being a bride's punching bag and therapist. :)

    I have to say for my own wedding I was stressed up until the morning of my wedding with everything that needed to be done and wasn't being done, but as soon as we were all ready, I told myself to just let it all go and enjoy our wedding day and I did just that. It went by way too fast, but everyone said it was the best wedding they had been to in years! And in our family we had a lot of weddings with 20 plus cousins and I was the last to be married.

  3. Thanks for your comments Evonne and Diane.

    Over the past decade I've only had a few clients who were this way. Several I was able to help refocus their attention on what should have mattered more, their marriages. Several I didn't say anything to because they didn't ask my advice. The ones that did ask, I remember one was completely upset because she couldn't find linen napkins to match the bridesmaid gowns. Like to the point of making herself visibly shaken. And one Mother of a Bride was making herself physically ill worrying about the details of her daughter's wedding.

    It's such a shame because unless they found a way to overcome their worrying and stressing... they for sure missed out on a little or a lot of the experience of enjoying the entire planning process and possibly even the wedding day itself.

    I actually told the MOB that after the wedding was done she would regret what she was doing now. That it would be too late for her to go back and enjoy and experience the day later.

    She took the advice to heart but I don't know that she was able to do it. When I talked to her husband after the wedding he told me the most amazing thing about his daughter's wedding is that he and her mother didn't get divorced by the wedding day. Stress and negativity are basically like infections spreading to everyone you may deal with whether it is industry, family or friends.

    Seriously it doesn't matter if the groom's tie isn't the exact same shade of ivory as your gown. What matters more is that your groom is a great guy, someone you can have faith in and who will be there for you through thick and thin. Especially if he will stand by you as you mercilessly drag him to 40 stores looking for the perfect ivory tie.

    So go to 20 stores instead and get the tie that matches the best. Or go back to your bridal salon and see if you can order additional yardage of your gown and have a tie custom made by a seamstress. Either way, deal with it and move on. Then enjoy your wedding day!

  4. stacie, love the post! love the monkey more! :D where did you find it? i have a friend who collects monkey figurines. :D

  5. I found him at the Ben and Jerry's downtown near San Jose State:

    115 E San Carlos St
    San Jose, CA 95112

    The machines were to our left as we walked into the shop. LOL I'm tempted to go back and get some of the others as well. I've actually been checking out bubble gum machines in my own neighborhood this week to see if I can find them somewhere closer :D


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